The Body Whispers, Are You Listening?
Our bodies are constantly trying to communicate with us. You might have felt a knot of tension in your stomach right before a big presentation, or noticed clenched jaw very often? Or a wave of calm wash over you as you step into a forest? These physical sensations can be cues to what's happening emotionally internally. In fact our bodies are constantly sending us messages through sensations, aches, and even bursts of energy, but in our hustle-bustle culture, it's easy to miss these subtle cues.
My story
Five years ago, during a challenging time, I discovered kickboxing and martial arts. I have always been into movement since I was a child, but during a challenging time, I found refuge in kickboxing. Yes am not talking about Yoga yet. Beyond the physical benefits of exercise, there was also a dialogue happening between my body and my brain. Each powerful move wasn't just about punching a bag; I felt a sense of strength emerge from within; it was a message that I am capable. This newfound strength fueled my ability to navigate the difficult times and come out stronger on the other side. After working somatically with people, what this dialogue actually means from the nervous system perspective is that we have a threat and movement stops us from going into shut down: “ we are already up and moving and if things gone really bad, it is not that much harder for us to get out of there”. We are ready to go into fight or flight response when needed.
“80% percent of the information coming to us flows from the body to the brain in what we call afferent pathways, while only 20% percept returns from he brain to the body in what is called efferent pathways.” Deb Dana
The language of the nervous system vs the language of the brain:
Every experience, from joy to stress, leaves an imprint on our bodies and the nervous system. Our minds tend to invent meaning to make sense of our experience if we do not know how to listen or do not have the capacity for connecting with our bodies. The story our minds tell us might be different from the story our nervous system is telling us. The story from the brain might actually get us to activate sympathetic response of fight and flight which isn’t needed or is needed for only a particular period of time, but if this response persists over a long period of time, the body might get exhausted and go into shut down, leading to physical illnesses or inflammation from chronic stress.
How do we listen to our bodies?
First, I want you to start imagining your body as a wise friend who is willing to guide you whenever you want to listen. How would you take the time to listen? Can you listen with a gentle heart and curiosity? Maybe you've been feeling overwhelmed lately. Take a deep breath and notice where you feel that tension or tightness: in your chest, or your belly, or somewhere else?What are the qualities of these sensations? dull ache, vibrating, pulsing? These physical sensations can be clues to what's happening emotionally underneath. What lies beneath our survival responses could be fear of failure, fear of losing a job, or fear of not being enough no matter what? Until we learn what the body is actually communicating, we can get stuck in a story from the mind that probably isn’t true.
Is my brain pushing me to do something that might be stressing out my nervous system?
This is a question worth asking ourselves regularly. Maybe that extra hour at the gym fueled by anxiety about deadlines isn't the best choice for our well-being. Maybe that afternoon slump isn't just about needing a caffeine fix; it could be a sign your body needs some rest or a change of scenery.
There's a difference between pushing ourselves to grow and pushing ourselves to the point of stressing our systems and ultimately burning out. When some challenging activities that were once beneficial, for example, boxing really helped me to safely release accumulated anger that wasn’t allowed to be expressed, this was no longer needed as my needs changed.
When we learn how to slow down, we give ourselves a space and with space comes choice. Our ability to choose is a powerful gift. When we listen to the whispers of our bodies, we can discern between actions that empower us and those that keep us stuck in a cycle of stress. Listening allows us to take charge of our lives and create a life aligned with our deepest desires.
In conclusion, RESILIENCE does not mean that we need to avoid stress, but rather that our nervous system can move fluidly between stress and safety; from patterns of connection to protection and back to connection with ease. So, take a deep breath, close your eyes, and listen. Your body has wisdom to share.